1. Life in One Day – Howard Jones (Oh Jesus, is THIS how we’re gonna continue???)
2. I Wanna Be A Friend of Yours – Nat King Cole (Nat gets a little pervy in this one, I think. What extra?!?!? Friends with Benefits?!?!?! Is he axin’ for a reach around?!?!?!)
3. Playmates – Kay Kyser & His Orchestra (hey, dat’s us!!!)
4. The Fox – Burl Ives
5. Whispering Pines – Johnny Horton (awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww sweet)
6. Welcome – Please Keep the Theater Clean, You Muthuhfucker - Intermission
7. The Greatest Show on Earth – Intermission
8. Restless (Live) – Elton John (complete with “we could be children from dah deh da deh deh dah)
9. The Lovemaster – Craig Shoemaker
10. BernzOmatic In-Car Heater – Intermission (what a nice way of sayin’ stick this in yer car and heat it!!!)
11. Polk Salad Annie – Tony Joe White (the original one, bitch!)
12. No Smoking, No Littering, No Shit – Intermission
13. Ducks Away From My Fishing Pond – Chris and the Students
14. The Ham Incident – Patton Oswalt (only for Deli workers everywhere!!!)
15. Rodeo – The Outlaws
16. The Lion Sleeps Tonight (Wimoweh) – The Tokens
17. Creature Double Feature – Channel 48 (those were the days Saturday afternoons!!!)
18. Creature Features TV Theme – Creature Features
19. Broken-Hearted Gypsy (No Offense, you fuckin’ Gypsy!!!) – Johnny Horton
20. Tobe, the Mule Part 1 – Junior Samples
21. Tobe, the Mule Part 2 – Junior Samples (remember the number to call is BR-549)
22. Music for Advertising #6 – Mort Garson
23. Oh We Ride in the Rodeo Jingle – Intermission
24. Orange Crush Jingle – Intermission
25. Drizzle Guard – Intermission
26. It’s Intermission Time at the Lakesomething – Intermission
27. Suspicious Minds – Puddles Pity Party
28. Lots of Pretty Pickles – Intermission
29. Woody Woodpecker Song – Mel Blanc featuring the Sportsmen
30. Return To Sender – Elvis Pickle (wow, this cd just went downhill fast!!!)
31. My Childhood, Yes – Emo Phillips (I don’t wanna have to THINK on this cd!!!)
32. Running Bear – Johnny Preston
33. (The Man Who Shot) Liberty Valance – Gene Pitney
34. Mean, Mean Son of a Gun – Johnny Horton
35. The Battle of Little Big Horn – Porter Wagoner
36. Kaw-Liga – Hank Williams
37. Let’s Jump the Broomstick – Brenda Lee
38. See You Later, Alligator – Bill Haley & His Comets
39. Stranded in the Jungle – The Cadets
40. The Mansion You Stole – Johnny Horton (Christ, He’s on this a Lot Must Be a Hortonanny!)
41. Main Theme – Dracula A.D. 1972 – Mike Vickers (Hey, Did you know that . . . .)
42. Johnny Alucard Looks at Ring; Legend of Dracula from Dracula A.D. 1972 – Mike Vickers
43. James River Smithfield BBQ – Intermission
44. Ready To Serve You All – Intermission
45. Sprite Intermission
46. Shrimp Rolls/Hot Meatball Sandwich – Intermission
47. Tony’s Pizza – Intermission
48. Scary Stories – Tony Joe White
49. Lord of the Flies – Elton John
50. Little Joe (From Destry Rides Again) – Marlene Dietrich
51. My Dog (from Timberjack) – Hoagy Carmichael
52. Doggone (My Dog’s Gone) – Junior Samples
53. River of No Return – Marilyn Monroe
54. Cattle Call (from Rio Grande) – The Sons of the Pioneers (what is this, the western section???)
55. Bubble-Loo, Bubble-Loo – Peggy Lee
56. Cartier – Sir Elton John
57. Prologue – Icarus
58. Fantastic Four – Icarus
59. Monkey Farts – Seamus Kennedy (I give the Cerpts listeners what they want!!!)
60. Introduction to Horror – Arch Oboler (No, don’t turn around!!!)
61. Achoo-Cha-Cha (Gesundheit) – The McGuire Sisters
62. Red Cherries – Floyd Dixon
63. Public Service Announcement – Tab Hunter
64. She Said – Hasil Adkins
65. The Boys in the Backroon (from Destry Rides Again) – Marlene Dietrich
66. Full Moon – Eden Ahbez
67. Nature Boy – Bobby Darin (Hey! Eden Ahbez WROTE Nature Boy!!!)
68. Serutan Yob (A Song for Backwards People) – Unnatural Seven (I’m not lookin’ at anyone in particular, y’understand!)
69. Moonshining – Junior Samples with Ralph Emery
70. Empty Sky – Elton John
71. Jump (Live) – Peter Cook & Dudley Moore
72. The D-Bee’s Cat Boogie – Mort Garson
73. Phenomenal Cat – The Kinks
74. Alvin – The Monkees (really just Peter Tork)
75. Boys Want Sex in the Morning – Uncle Bonsai
76. Penguin – Monty Python’s Flying Circus (I panicked!!!)
77. Let’s All Go To the Lobby – Intermission
78. Popcorn and Candy, Yum Yum – Intermission
79. Carnation Whipped Hot Cocoa – Intermission
80. Oh the Time Is Now, The Time Is Here – It’s Intermission, You Fuck!
81. Boombox Adagio – Loose Tapestries
82. Suck My Beans – Loose Tapestries
83. The Skeleton and the Roundabout – The Idle Race
84. Lavender Popcorn – Scrugg
85. Uncle Arthur – David Bowie (What the Fuck?!?!?!)
86. Sea Cruise – Frankie Ford
87. A Long Vacation – Ricky Nelson
88. Beyond the Sea – Earl Grant
89. Soda Pop – Vince Maloy
90. The Children – Allan Havey
91. Teenie Weenie Bikini – Mitchell Torok (some parts of the boat bob more than others)
92. Cool Water – Jack Scott
93. Dick Barton Theme (Devil’s Gallop) – Elton John (that’s some unreleased shit right thar!!!)
94. The Hell Raisers – The Syd Dale Orchestra
95. Beware of the 4-D Witch – Joe Bisko/Attila Galamb (Goddamn Hippies!!!!)
96. The Action Scene – Alan Hawkshaw
97. Destination Moon – The Ames Brothers
98. Restaurants – Mitch Hedberg
99. You’ll Love Corn Dogs – Intermission (I suspected this about you!!!)
100. Musical Mutiny – Trailer
101. Seven Comes Eleven – Johnny Horton (Christ, I shoulda bought stock in him!!!)
102. Swinging City (Mood Three) – John Barry Orchestra (and the Pink Pussy)
103. Jane Bond Theme – Johnny Hawksworth (that’s a nice little pussy you have there!!!)
104. A “Dreamy” Dilemma – Emo Phillips
105. Three TV IDs – Mort Garson
106. Going to the Movies with Harry – Intermission
107. Buttercup Popcorn – Intermission
108. Creature Features First Theme – Creature Features
109. Man of the House – Craig Shoemaker
110. PIK Insect Repellant – Intermission
111. Go Man Go Dr. Pepper Jingle – Intermission
112. Little Lola Pepsi Intermission
113. It’s Great To Go To A Drive-In – Intermission
114. Bible Black – Heaven & Hell (um that’s Black Sabbath & Ronnie James Dio)
115. Rainbow in the Dark (Live) – Dio
116. Imagine a Mouse with Rulers For Legs & Measures Stuff as It Runs – Loose Tapestries
117. I Know an Old Lady – Burl Ives
118. The Cook – Junior Samples with Ralph Emery
119. North To Alaska – Johnny Horton
120. Black Slacks – Joe Bennett (direct from Buchanan & Goodman’s Flying Saucer 45!!!)
121. Movie Magg – Carl Perkins
122. Stockin’s ‘n’ Shoes – Eddie Cochran
123. Ambush – The Outlaws
124. Conjure Woman – Tony Joe White
125. There’s Always Me – Elvis Presley
126. Weightless – Mike Oldfield
127. Zor and Zam – The Monkees
128. The Chauffer – Duran Duran
129. Did Anybody Sleep with Joan of Arc – Elton John
130. Your Feet’s Too Big – Fats Waller
131. The Pussy Cat Song – Betty Garrett & Jimmy Durante
132. Sports Common Taters – Junior Samples & Archie Campbell
133. Hillbilly Fever – Little Jimmy Dickens
134. Cry of the Dying Duck in a Thunderstorm – Cactus Pryor (this song was MADE for Cerpts Tapes!!! I mean, what the ever-lovin’ fuck!!!)
135. Ladies & Gentlemen Our Next Attraction – Intermission
136. Goodies Machine – Intermission
137. Sprite Instrumental Intermission
138. The Hole in the Ground – Bernard Cribbins (after being in Dr. Who and before being in Dr. Who)
139. Pepsi Jingle – Intermission
140. Candy Bar Intermission
141. Thanks For Coming To Our Show – Intermission
142. Choc’late Ice Cream Cone – Red Foley
143. Cuddle Buggin’ Baby – Eddy Arnold
144. Saturday Night Fish Fry – Pearl Bailey & Moms Mabley
145. I’m Moving On – Hank Snow
146. Top Rank (Live) – Peter Cook & Dudley Moore (placed here with all the dignity I could muster!!!)
147. Hillbilly Fever No. 2 – Red Foley & Ernest Tubb
148. Cincinnatti Dancing Pig – Red Foley
149. Hot Rod Race – Arkie Shibley
150. The Funniest Woman In the World – Moms Mabley
151. Why Don’t You Haul Off and Love Me – Mervin Shiner (Aw, he just died…)
152. (I Won’t Go Hunting, Jake) But I’ll Go Chasin’ Women – Stuart Hamblen
153. For a Fist Full of Cole Slaw – Emo Phillips
154. They Caught the Devil and Put Him in Jail in Eudora, Arkansas – Tony Joe White
155. When It’s Springtime in Alaska – Johnny Horton
156. Space Oddity – Star One
157. The Belle of St. Mark – Sheila E
158. Welcome to Space – moon:and:6
159. Duello Finale (from Once Upon A Time in the West) – Ennio Morricone
160. Frenesi – Esquivel (Wow!!!)
161. A Pub With No Beer – Johnny Worth
162. Dizzy Fingers – Jonathan & Darlene Edwards (Yes, the Cookin’ Cheap Theme Song)
163. Hamburger Hop – Johnny Hicks
164. Hot in the Sugarcane Field – Johnny Horton
165. Tears – Ken Dodd
166. Excerpt from Museum of Curiosity – Ken Dodd & John Lloyd
167. The Insurance Man – Junior Samples
168. The Eddystone Light – Burl Ives
169. Don’t Talk to Strangers – Jonathan Coulton
170. Excerpt from Genesis of the Daleks – Tom Baker
171. Still They Ride – Journey
172. Saltwater – Julian Lennon (so sad!)
173. Burning Times – Christy Moore (burn the witch!!! Barbecue her!!!)
174. Soulling Song – All Hallows Version – Kristen Lawrence
175. Don’t Do Drugs – Loose Tapestries
176. Episode 001 – In Costume Shop – The Adventures of Chickenman
177. Take an Old Cold ‘Tater (and Wait) – Little Jimmy Dickens (I’m also noticing a preponderance of little dickens on this Cerpts)
178. Fist City – Loretta Lynn (Christ, when did things get all country in here?!?!?!?)
179. Bedroom Barney – Craig Shoemaker
180. Women Communicate Differently – Craig Shoemaker
181. Can’t You See – The Marshall Tucker Band
182. Rubber Duckie – Ernie
183. 2 Big Pumpkins – Elvira, Mistress of the Dark
184. Hold Me Closer – Elton John & Britney Spears (who’s the bigger ho, I ask ya???)
185. Please Leave My Butter Alone – Elsie Carlisle (oh, Elsie Carlisle is the bigger ho, then)
186. What Do You Want For Christmas? – Eddie Lawrence, the Old Philosopher
187. Cat Hop – The Dodgers
188. Bad Boy – Larry Williams (he’s singin’ about YOU, Cheeks!!!)
189. New York Bagels Ad – Selected Shorts
190. St. Patrick’s Day – Sean Nolan’s Dublin Orchestra (offa a fuckin’ 78, yall!!!)
191. Armed Services Tribute/Drunken Sailor – Seamus Kennedy
192. Hold On – Santana
193. Folsom Wizard – Puddles Pity Party
194. Seriously, Never Forget – Anthony Jeselnik
195. Pfft! You Were Gone – Archie Campbell
196. Forever Country – A Buncha BCF’s
197. Drop the Pilot (Live) – Joan Armatrading
198. Nephews – Allan Havey
199. Der Stuka – Allan Havey
200. The Naughty Lady of Shady Lane – The Ames Brothers
201. Devil Made A Masterpiece – Johnny Horton
202. Frogs and Bears – Mitch Hedberg
203. Big Bang Theory Theme – Barenaked Ladies
204. Right Said Fred – Bernard Cribbins
205. Hush…Hush, Sweet Charlotte – Bette Davis (that’s RIGHT, bitches!!!!)
206. Mad Pooper – Bob’s Burgers (OK, this one’s about you too, Cheeks)
207. Twitterpated – Betty Driver
208. Sixty Years On (Live) – Brandi Carlile
209. I Used To Yate Ya – Buddy Hackett
210. Never, Never Gonna Give You Up – Cake
211. Nobody – Pearl Bailey
212. The Golden Rocket – Johnny Horton (SURELY he must be outta songs by now!!!)
213. Hollywood National Anthem – Craig Shoemaker
214. Bite Your Lip (Get Up & Dance) (Live) – Elton John (here’s a song from the Blue Moves album!!!)
215. Fine Entertainment Farewell – Intermission (WHAT kind of entertainment did he say?!?!?!)
216. Please Replace the Speaker – Intermission (Don’t tell me what to do!!!)
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